Bro I got a baby on the way get off the ⛽️ ‼️ @MarcusMuscogee you was rite 🤷🏾♂️ #wavinAsmith2 #swe #sowavy #wavy #Wave #Elwave #waves #chuckwavy #NOLAritst #wavyhorry🏆🏆 #ATX #KTOWN#Wavybaby #WavinASmith2️⃣ #CHASE #Westbank #hardsoda
In late 2014, Small Town Brewing out of Wakanda (sp), IL bestowed their first 12oz. bottles of Grandpa’s cough syrup to the rest of America because by now no one had any self respect. Hard Soda? Cocktail in a Can? Rainbow Sparkle Frappuccino? They sold so much of this god damned stuff it was skewing data on the category for a certain large midwestern grocery chain. In the on-premise, no beer was worth tainting draft lines by those foolish enough to run it outside of a dedicated tap (for life). I was elated when the NYFRB fad ended as abruptly as it started, but they appear to have assembled a perceptive team of Illinois MBAs after bankruptcy to mount a comeback this time taking into account “how women like to spend their free time.” Shopping prob, amirite. Incredible, truly.
If Guy Fieri had a hard soda line with a curse word in it, Best Damn Brewing Co. was a brand platform hastily assembled in 2015 to simply chip off barnacles from Not Your Father’s Whatever at a cheaper price point. I cannot begin to express how undrinkable every flavor of this cloying garbage was, but the category was still a top priority for ABInBev:
“We’ve seen a growing consumer interest in sweeter taste profiles, and we jumped at the opportunity to brew an easy-drinking, hard root beer,” said Rashmi Patel, vice president, Share of Throat...
You read these press releases and you can’t believe of people in their offices would kill each other to be promoted to Share of Throat Manager. Remember when the Budweiser horses played football?
All you need to know is that malternative emeritus, Mike’s Hard Lemonade makes White Claw in huge ass vats and its popularity is at Game of Thrones finale levels of cultural zeitgeist. If that triggers a searing hatred for other people, congrats you are not a pod person. There is an unusually secretive “naturally flavored” recipe that gives me the same misgivings about what they’re going to inevitably discover about these FDA approved chemicals 30 years from now. Ain’t no laws with claws!
🅱️rewing beer is not about superiority, it’s about inclusion. FMBs aren’t my thing, but maybe it’s all your teena-friends can tolerate.🤷🏻♂️